Posted by: smilecoach | February 8, 2008


Creating is one of the joys in life for me.   One of the things I love to create is ideas that capture the essence of concepts I can use in my coaching and teleclasses.  When I am working on these ideas time flies and I can literally feel the energy humming inside of me.  If I didn’t know better,  I would say  I had drunk way too much caffeinated coffee. 

This week I have been in one of those creative moods.  I have been looking for a way to more fully explain what it is I am teaching in my Change Your Energy – Change Your Life class.   I think I have a partial answer.  Please feel free, if not compelled, to respond to my thoughts. 

I have created a new word. The word is Gap-ability.  The definition of gap-ability is; it is your ability to create and sustain the joy that occurs when you expand the gap between stimulus and response. 

Now that you know my big idea, let me explain why I think it is important.  In the Change Your Energy class I explain that throughout life we are constantly receiving into our mind and body stimulus to which we respond.  It is in the gap between stimulus and response where the outcome of our lives is determined. 

Stimulus – Gap – Response

If the emotion we feel in the gap is fear, then we limit our response.  When the emotion we experience in the gap is love, possibilities we could not imagine begin to materialize.  I could tell you hours of stories about the success people (myself included) have had when they expand the gap between stimulus and response. 

Expanding the gap is a function of creating love based life patterns that cause the gap to expand.  The concept is simple, yet the practice of it is difficult.  We have years, perhaps even decades of living with an automatic fear based response that occurs every time it is triggered.  With the fear based response comes a life of untapped potential. 

Personally I am striving to tap into as much of my potential as I can.   My desire is that I will not die with the song still inside of me.  If I were to rate my gap-ability on a scale of one to ten, I would say that my gap-ability is about a seven and I am working to get it to an eight. 

Have you found a way to express the song inside of you?  What is your gap-ability?  Do you want to raise it? 




  2. I like your new word, and the concept!

    Since working with you I’ve been able to shift some of my life patterns, and feel more love and less fear. I’d rate my current gap-ability at perhaps a 6. I’d love to increase it to a 7, 8 or 9!

    The important first step is awareness. Then willingness to shift. Then knowing how and doing it.

    I appreciate your reminders to recognize my progress, and feel joy in taking even little steps forward.


  3. I like this word. It’s kinda spunky! I can hear myself saying to my teen-aged girls, “thanks for that gap-ability!” (My girls have been my target students to teach this concept of gap for years, as you know!)

    For me, I am learning to look at my triggers and think differently so as to not put myself in situations where my gap-ability has been low. Example is I love bringing people together for special dinners. I get a vision of what I want the night to look like and I am laser focused on the details. If I am under stress because I haven’t planned well and have too little time before everyone comes, well, my family gets very little gap from me. I am learning to plan better and start preparing earlier and I go from a 3 to an 8 on those evenings.
    One other thing I know, when I am focused on my mission, to create joyful connections, I would say I am at a 9.

    Thanks for another way to keep my attention to how I am fully empowered to lead a joy-filled life, Frank!!!

  4. Hi Nora. I am delighted to hear from you. I hope you are well. I am glad that your life is easy and cool. You deserve it.

  5. Bonnie, I am sure you will increase your Gap-ability to a 9. Thanks for doing the analysis and sharing your results.

  6. Hey Sherri, great example of gap-ability. Based on what you have been reporting about your business, I would say you are focused on your mission most of the time. Yeah for increasing your gap-ability.

    When we live our mission, we give everyone around us permission to live their mission. I am sure your increased gap-ability is having a ripple effect on many people.

  7. It’s been nearly 2 years since we’ve worked together, and I’m excited to say that I am now a 5 at gap-ability. I definitely feel my level increasing rapidly. One thing I remember specifically while working with you was when I said to you that I need to think like a more successful person. You said I already knew more than 90% of the people you meet, and that I need to feel like a success. Well the smile exercise has been a miracle, because now I feel like a success, and I say the same to everybody I meet. Feeling like a success must come before thinking like one. And that all begins with our gap-ability. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: