Posted by: smilecoach | October 1, 2009

Who’s on First?

It’s time for a trivia quiz.  What comedy team made the skit, “Who’s on first?” famous. 

The answer is Abbot and Costello.  That was also a test to determine how old you are.  If you are under 50 you probably don’t know who they were unless you have seen them on Nickelodeon.  If you are over 60 I am sure you know who Bud Abbot and Lou Costello are. 

In case you want to see it here is the link  –

This is not a meaningless diversion, I am going someplace with this.  When I last wrote on the blog I was talking about the ‘4 C’s’ of Big Change.   And finally we are on the last ‘C’ which is Compassion.  When we get ‘wrapped up’ in the Big Change it is easy to get confused and forget about what is important and ourselves.  “Who’s on first?” is all about confusion. 

All of us have long hidden, yet very powerful, subconscious fear based patterns that are the source of a never ending barrage of negative self talk.  How can you create change if you are constantly being critical of what you are doing and thinking?  All of us know that compassion should be shown towards others; however we never do it for ourselves.   We get confused about what is important about our Big Change.  When it becomes about achieving an external final result you are confused.  The Big Change is about creating a meaningful life in which you consistently employ your talents with ease and grace.    

 When I asked clients who are in the middle of a Big Change, “What were your recent successes?” the reply is some version of “Not much.”  As we talk, it becomes clear that just the opposite is true-there are numerous successes.  However, because the successes didn’t rock the world, they didn’t count.  The result is they don’t give themselves credit for what they have accomplished and there are no celebrations along the path to the Big Change.  There is the seemingly universal belief that you must wait until you get to the ‘end’ before you can feel good about yourself and celebrate.  Why not give yourself a break, recognize your accomplishments along the way, love yourself and enjoy the process?  Why not have compassion for yourself? 

 The next time you become confused about the real goal and you are berating yourself for not doing more, faster – STOP – remember Who’s on first? – smile and be kind to yourself.  Who’s on first? You are!


  1. Dearest Coach! How special this particular big “C” is! It is only in loving oneself that we can truly love others. In fact it gives you more to share! If there is one thing to pass on to our children in their development it is this love of self. I remember my Mother always saying “to thine ownself be true” and what she was trying to tell us was to love and cherish my life, my body, my mind/soul andmy future. Unfortunately, she didn’t explain all that, she just used the saying at various unpredictable times. It actually took many years to figure it out, but when I did and put myself first everything opened up to me in this world and in a spritual world as well. Don’t fall for that self modesty crap. It prevents you from taking repsonsibility for your life and your actions. Be proud of you. If you aren’t, how can anybody else be proud of you? So, I am no longer confused. I know who is on first….ME!!

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