Recently, I have been reminding myself that “Life is a never ending series of events”. The reason I have had that quote on a constant loop in my head is that an event occurred that tapped into a powerful and long standing fear-based life pattern that I have. The fear is that I am not accepted by people I care about. Just when I thought I had this love-based thing mastered and I was living a life that was always filled with joy and abundance, I was hit between the eyes with this old fear. I had a strong physical reaction to the event which included an elevated heart-rate that I could actually hear in my ears.
I tried desperately to put a gap between stimulus and response so that I could get a better perspective on things. No matter how often I repeated the process of breathing through my heart and focusing on solutions, I could not get the emotion of fear to subside for more than 5 minutes. Trust me; I love the feeling of joy flowing through my body, mind and spirit and this was a temporary event that I wanted to be history. After about 36 hours the fear subsided, but it didn’t disappear completely. I continued to process the situation with less intensity and less frequency for 3-4 days. Although I identified the fear I was dealing with in the first paragraph, I didn’t really recognize it until I started to write this post, then it jumped out at me – this is about being accepted. Up to this point, I had fallen into being a victim. I am not! My sense of self does not depend on the good opinion of others. I easily create love and joy in my life.
Life really is a never ending series of temporary events. And, yes, sometimes feeling joyful takes an extended effort. It would be wonderful if everything could be solved in 30 minutes like they do on TV, but it can’t. Creating a gap and the smile exercise are powerful tools to creating the life I want, even if they don’t always create the desired result instantaneously.
I would enjoy hearing your reactions to my struggle with a life long fear-based life pattern. What have you learned from what I wrote?
Change Your Energy - Change Your Life 
Hi Frank,
It’s been one of those days for me today. I can so relate!! I dealt with my age-old fear–am I enough? I was feeling entrepreneurially challenged–Am I enough to be as successful a business owner as I claim for myself? I won’t go into any details but will just say I fought my fear throughout the day with brief winning pauses as a result of my favorite ‘tricks’…the smile exercise, reading my declaration statements, reading exerpts from a favorite positive energy book. I had an aha when reading your blog just now.
I believe the shift occured for me (thank heavens it did!) when I was able to not be IN the fear but rather observe it with insight. I went thru the motions of what I know to do and after a while, I guess became somewhat de-sensitized and realized simply being an entrepreneur, i.e., creating myself in my particular niche of business is not a straight line. At some point, I found myself outside the fear, able to recognize it without being consumed by it. I really like your anti-victim statement!! I am inspired! Here’s mine–My commitment and belief in my work and my right to extrodinary business success is completely in my hands. I am enough to have the business of my dreams!!!
That’s another winning lesson on the road to living a joy-filled life!!!
Blessings to you!!!
Sherri the SRG
By: Sherri on September 12, 2008
at 4:03 am
Hi Sherri,
Thanks for writing about your aha experience. I congratulate you on being able to ‘observe’ what was happening and decide not to be a victim. And yes you certainly are more than enough to have the business of your dreams. YEAH Sherri!!
By: smilecoach on September 12, 2008
at 5:27 pm
What exactly is the smile exercise?
By: Marilyn on January 8, 2009
at 3:10 am
Hi Marilyn,
Thanks for asking about the smile exercise. Very simply put it begins by getting a slight smile on your face, feel the energy that the smile creates as it flows through you body and then state out loud a declaration about what you want to create in your life.
The research on positive emotions and their effect on our ability to funciton at an optimal level continues to grow. To read some of it you can go to Heartmath.com and download information.
For a complete explaination I would encourage you to sign up for my teleclass. You can contact me at frank@wisecoach4u.com. In a few months I will have a book available that will explain the complete process and how to employ it.
Thanks again for your comment.
Frank –
By: smilecoach on January 10, 2009
at 12:00 am
refreshing to say the least,finding like minded people who are trying to live a dream.can be done!how should I begin?iam interested in what you teach and share.please clue me in.meanwhile i shall read on.thank you!iam a struggling Christian seeking to share dreams and making a way for them to materialize.i love all animals and most people.people from a distance these days.i have much healing to do.help?
By: Stephen Garrick on July 11, 2010
at 10:56 pm